Right now Jonathan is out making one of the bigger purchases in our attempt to be ready for foster care. We start our 10 weeks of MAPP classes in just a few weeks and need to have everything ready to start accepting kids before our last home visit. That includes getting a new twin bed, crib, car seats, etc.clothes. We've decided to move our oldest son up to the finished attic and use his old bedroom for our foster kids. Tonight Jonathan is picking up a twin bed so we can start putting it all together.
I have mixed emotions about...everything right now. On top of the list is stress. I'm stressed out about getting everything ready and the cost. What if we spend all the money only to end up not actually getting foster kids. I don't see why that would ever happen but that doesn't keep me from stressing about it.
The paperwork that we're supposed to fill out and bring with us to our first MAPP meeting is still sitting untouched by my bed. I can't quite figure out how to describe my personality in one sentence or how to write an autobiography. Someone recently told me that I have a "sparkly" personality. I wonder how that would look to the social workers? ;)
I read, and have been reading lots of blogs and anything I can about being a foster parent. Sometimes reading those blogs makes me feel excited and I feel even more sure about our decision. Other times what I read scares me a little and I start to worry. I worry that the kids we get will be too much for us to handle. I worry that I'll fall in love and end up with a broken heart.
But then I saw this...
and I remember that it's not about us. It's about the kids we can help even if it's for a short time.