I Like NOT Camping

Some people like camping. I like NOT camping.

I like the idea of being outdoors. But when it comes down to it I don't like bugs, wild animals, or getting dirty. And I refuse to pay to sleep like a homeless person. I think some people call that "camping". My husband takes our oldest 2 boys camping while I stay home with Evelyn and Houston. I say it's because they're too young to take camping. But it's really just because I need some excuse to stay home. I make sure that we have a good time here while the guys are gone. I make a pretty darn good S'more right on the stove top and we don't smell like smoke afterwards. And...we sleep in beds which is nice :)

But when they got back from their most recent camping trip, my husband mentioned that he'd like to try and take Evelyn and Houston next time. This would be very bad for me. How could I justify staying home when the rest of my family is out playing cave men?!

At first Evelyn was really excited at the idea. But after she thought about it for a while she had a couple of questions...

# 1. Will she have to use a porta potty?

#2. Will there be a Wegmans or a restaurant near by?

Because if there's a Wegmans near by then they can go hang out there all day and just go back to the campground to sleep.

I think I may be safe from the yuck that is camping for a little while longer.

You Belong With Me

My little girl has her first crush! His name...is Spencer *sigh* What a dreamy name ;)

When I picked Evelyn up from child watch after working out on Friday she went on and on about her new friend Spencer.

"First, I played tag with Spencer!"

"Spencer played catch with me for a long time!"

"Spencer is really good at catch!"

Spencer! Spencer! Spencer!

Then while I was signing her in on Monday she got all excited and said, "Mom! Spencer is here today!" So I asked one of the employees which boy was Spencer...

Ah, turns out that Spencer is actually a teenage boy who works in the child watch area.

I guess my girl likes the older guys with minimum wage jobs.

Later, when I went back to pick her up she was all frazzled because she couldn't find Spencer!

"I think he's hiding from me!"

I told her I was about to pass out tired and she would probably see him next time and we walked out. The only problem was that because she was so worried about Spencer, that she forgot she wasn't wearing any shoes! So back inside we went and... gasp! Spencer was back!

Evelyn yelled, "Spencer!"

"Where were you?!"

"I was looking for you!"

"Were you hiding from me?"

A slightly red faced Spencer answered, "Evelyn...I was using the bathroom."

At this point I told her it was time to leave the poor guy alone and pretty much had to drag her out the door as she yelled over and over again...

"Bye, Spencer!"

"I'm leaving now"

"Goodbye"

Right now it's kind of cute. In a few years it will be sort of creepy. Thankfully she has a while to figure it all out :)

Little Boys And Their Dirty Minds

Little boys are gross and love all things gross. It's a proven fact. Google it ;)

Logan (9) feels like it's his job to turn every possible situation into something gross or inappropriate. Songs are changed to add bodily functions. Pictures are only finished when blood and death have been added. And no school writing assignment is safe from some sort of other disgusting thing his little boy mind can come up with!

Today it was the male anatomy. God help me.

The boys and I had a discussion about the proper names for parts of the male anatomy. This was not the first time we had ever gone over this. It was more of a review. Logan was all red-face and giggles through the entire conversation. A little while later I was in the basement doing laundry when he came down the stairs barely able to speak through his laughter. He told me he had come up with a great plan! Since he was sure Evelyn has no idea what *Insert male body part here* means, he was going to tell her it meant a flower or something and start referring to her as that.

At this point I tried to crawl into the dryer and hide...

Not really. I told him that it was highly inappropriate to call his sister a *male body part* and that those kind of words were not OK to make jokes about.

And then I crawled in the dryer to hide!

First Day of Homeschool

On Tuesday we started school again and I can already tell things are going to be a lot better this year! Last year my heart wasn't really into homeschooling. I felt frustrated and unqualified. I thought for sure that I had failed them but I was pleasantly surprised when, at the end of the school year, both the boys did amazingly well on their tests!

After talking to some public school teachers and some fellow homeschoolers I was really encouraged! I'm more sure than ever that homeschool is the right choice for our family and I feel challenged to be a better teacher.

I also have met some other moms who are starting to homeschool for the first time this school year. Some of them are looking to me for advice but I've found myself feeding off their excitement and ideas!

This year my goals are:

• To be more sensitive to my kid's different learning styles.
• Make school as fun as possible
• Take the kids to some new field trip locations
• Be successful in teaching science and history without a curriculum (for the first time)
• Most importantly I want to be more positive.

When I got frustrated last year I think I let my negative attitude affect my entire view of homeschool. Somehow I've gotten back to the way I felt when we first decided that homeschool was right for us.

I love being able to choose what my kids learn and when they learn it.

I love that they don't have to be exposed to the things that are happening in the public schools.

And I LOVE being able to have my gang at home with me during the day.

Ethan (10) 6th grade

Logan (9) 4th grade

Evelyn (6) 1st grade

Houston (3) Likes to play with toys :)

I love homeschool.

Everyone Should Wear Undergarments

This summer I've really been trying to get the kids out of the house more. Now that everyone is potty trained and can walk on their own, taking them out by myself is a lot easier. The only problem is that they can all talk.

Last week all the kids had a couple of dollars to spend so we went to Target. Instead of going straight to they toy aisle I wanted to take a quick look through some of the clothes on the clearance rack. Almost immediately I spotted a really cute top that had been marked down to $8!! As I was holding it against me to make sure it would fit Evelyn said, "Oh, mom! That will be perfect for when you have my sister!!"

Me: "When I have your sister?" (I wasn't quite catching on)

Evelyn: "Yeah! For when you have my sister in your belly"

Me: "Evelyn..."

Evelyn: "You know! A perfect shirt for when your pregnant!"

Me: "EVELYN! I'm not pregnant and this is not a maternity shirt."

I put the shirt BACK on the rack and we headed for the toy aisle

Evelyn: "Yeah but it would be perfect for when you are pregnant."
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Because we made our little stop in the clothing section it meant that we had to walk by the undergarments on our way to the toys. Ethan was all offended and started walking sideways while hiding his eyes.

Ethan: "Mom! Why do we have to walk by all this?!"

Me: "You mean the UNDIES and BRAS? Because it's on the way to the toys."

Ethan: "Mom! This is embarrassing"

Me: "Ethan, I think it's time you learned that everyone wears undergarments. Well, maybe not everyone...They should though..."

Ethan: "MOM! I'm going to be scarred for life after this!"

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I may have been having a little too much fun teasing him but it wasn't like some stores where there were pictures of half dressed women everywhere! It was just some stuff hanging on the racks.

Silly boy!

Dear Evelyn. Thanks for the pink eye

Dear Evelyn,

I gave you life. I give you my love. And try to give you everything that you need.

You gave me pink eye...

Somehow, it doesn't seem fair.

Now give me your medicine.

Love,
Mom

Dear Disney

Happy Memorial Day. We just got home from a a few days of vacation but before I go unpack and try to figure out where the bad smell in my kitchen is coming from, I wanted to share some of Evelyn's art work with you.

At first I thought it was a drawing of me (shut up!) but Evelyn said it's a princess.

Dear Disney,

My daughter now believes that all "princesses" have to look like...well, THIS.

Mission accomplished.
Sarah

Summer vacation started in the hospital

This past week I gave the kids their end of the year tests. They were just about finished with all of their books, and I was just about finished with homeschool this year :/ Thankfully they both did great! I think that the math curriculum that we used is at least a year ahead because after solving square roots and dividing fractions, one of the questions on the test asked, "Which of these is an even number?" 

Both of the boys finished in less then half the time they were given and both only got 2 out of 40 questions wrong. Yay! I'm not failing my children after all!

So since we finished our testing, our summer vacation has officially started!

On Friday I got a call from my dad saying that my mom was in the hospital with stomach issues and they wanted to keep her over night. He asked if I could come and stay the night with her so he could have a break. Of course I said I would but I needed to run to the church to set up for Sunday School and then I'd be right over.

Half way through setting up I checked my phone to make sure there wasn't any new updates with my mom and saw that I had a few missed calls from my husband. He left a message saying that Evelyn had fallen of the top of the slide (8 feet high) onto her head/neck and that he was taking her (and the three other kids) to the ER.

I quickly got in my car to meet him at the hospital.

I think my husband was going for the homeless child look when he brought her to the park looking like this.

While the doctor was checking her out she was asking her questions like what month it is and who the president is. She was not answering these questions. Not because she had some sort of serious head injury. But because apparently she just doesn't know.

Doc: What is the president's name?

Evelyn: I don't know...

Me: COME ON! You know what it is. Tell the doctor his name.

Evelyn: *Blank stare*

Doc: Are they teaching you anything in school!?

Me: *Crawling under the hospital gurney* Uh yeah...I homeschool them.

Fail

Evelyn was fine. She chipped her tooth but the only other thing that was hurt was my pride.

After leaving that hospital I drove across town to the hospital that my mom was staying in.

She stayed with me after all 4 of my kids were born, the least that I could do was stay with her while I read and watched a million episodes of Storage Wars.

My mom kept trying to get me to lay in bed and cuddle with her. I think it was the drugs ;)

So after this weekend summer vacation has officially been canceled. Instead, I will be spending the next 3 months teaching Evelyn who the president of the United States is and other important things ;)

My goal is that next time (God forbid) she's in the hospital I can tell them that the only way we can be sure she's OK, if she can still quote the Lord's Prayer... in Latin.

Whatever you do...don't squeeze the worm

"Don't squeeze the worm. It's got poison inside that will go into your skin and then I'll have to suck it out of you...I know that I'm not going to do it."

At least she's honest :)

Words of wisdom spoken between Evelyn and her cousin.

The Tooth Fairy might just call CPS on you

This has been the "Tooth Week" in our household. First, Evelyn lost her second front tooth. She officially looks like a vampire now. And sounds like a vampire with a lisp. This was the fifth tooth she lost and poor Logan has only lost three. Being the kind sister that she is, she sincerely offered to help the boys lose some more teeth by knocking them out.


We got a second opinion on braces for Ethan. The new lady says that she would wait and check him every 6 months. She said he does need them, just not right this very second like our dentist was saying.

Speaking of Dr. A...

Yesterday, Houston was outside playing outside and fell and hit his mouth on the driveway. His teeth looked OK but he had a pretty good sized cut on his gum so I wanted to take him to the dentist just to have her check/clean it. While we were waiting for the office to re-open after lunch, I had him lay down so I could ice it and try to clean it up a bit.

The inside is too gross to show

 
The little guy was so tough and hardly cried at all. At one point he was whining and he reached over and grabbed Evelyn's hand for comfort. I think it took her off guard because she said, "It's OK Houston." and then looked at me and said, "Aww. That almost made me cry a little."

When I got him to the dentist, they took x-rays then we waited for Dr. A.

When Dr. A came in she was looking him over and then asked how he got the red marks right under his nose. I told her I thought they were probably from the fall *Duh!* A few min later she asked her assistant to get her camera and then proceeded to take 3 pictures of Houston's injuries. After taking the pics, they set down the camera, cleaned him up, and never said a thing to me about why we took them.

At first I thought that they probably always take pics of these types of injuries "just in case". But then I remembered that the reason we went there 5 years ago to begin with, was that Evelyn (who was one) had fallen and hurt her mouth. They didn't take any pictures of her then...

Houston will be fine. They said he was lucky and that his x-rays looked good. They numbed his cut, cleaned, and scrapped it. They even had to use a buffer to get the black scratches from the driveway off of his teeth :/ Poor little guy. He's had ice cream twice today :)

Honestly I'm a little nervous about them taking pics. I'm sure it's nothing but I'm kicking myself for not asking why they did. Did they really suspect me of doing that to my own kid!?

And if CPS is going to come then I need to change out of my pajamas!! ;)

Just another blogger posting Easter pictures of their kids.

Anyone tired of looking at pictures of everyone's kids on Easter?


Too bad, suckers! :)

I love the look on Houston's face in this picture! I think it was because 30 seconds earlier we were all yelling at him to let go of his...well, I'm sure you can guess.

This Easter we had our big dinner and egg hunt at my parent's house on Saturday. So on Sunday we just relaxed and ate leftovers between church services.

Don't worry hunny. No one will ever notice that you always wear that sweater.

I think the best part about this year was how excited the kids were about their egg hunt. And even though we don't really do the Easter bunny thing, Houston being so sure that his gifts all came from a huge magical bunny.

I told him that the Easter bunny is really pretty, probably lives in NY, and shops at Walmart. ;)

Evelyn protecting her stash.

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend and got a chance to spend some time with your loved ones.

Sugar, spice, and a punch in the face

Evelyn looked so pretty sitting at the table eating dinner. She was all dressed for church and had her princess purse ready and filled with her favorite toys. Then Bruno (our dog) poked his head up near the table to see if he could sneak some food and she screamed,  "Get down or I will punch you RIGHT in your face!"

Ah, my sweet little Evelyn. She's a perfect mix of sugar and spice. She likes to wear dresses, play with dolls, and bake with her momma. But she also likes to make up her own swear words (Manit! It's some mix of dangit and oh man), play baseball with her brothers, and occasionally threaten physical harm.

On Sunday she told her entire Sunday school class that her brothers were all drinking out of the toilet but that she chose not to...That didn't really happen. When I asked her why she lied (In church of all places!) she said that she was sure it happened!.. It was just a really long time ago.

      Someone was teasing her this week and said, "You look just like your mother. Ugly!"
                Evelyn just calmly replied, "Thank you! My mom is not ugly."

                                                                
      I love my little girlie. She's perfect. Sugar and spice all mixed up nice :)

Pigs at the aquarium

On Tuesday I took the kids on a field trip to the Niagara Falls Aquarium with the homeschool group from church. It was almost a 2 hour drive so I wanted to leave the house at 8am to make sure we could meet everyone there by 10am.

I planned to get everyone up at 7 but I didn't set an alarm. I never do though. I'm one of those people that if you tell me to make sure I wake up at 3:33am, I'll do it. I think I was born with an internal clock or something. An internal clock that was broken on Tuesday... I woke up at 7:30 which means I only had a half hour to get 5 people fed and ready for the day! I went into crazy mom mode! I gave the gang 10 minutes to eat their breakfast then sent them upstairs to get dressed. As I was running around like crazy packing what we would need, Evelyn came down in the clothes she picked out, stood in front of me, and asked "How do you like me now, sucker!" I should have let that be a warning on how the rest of the day would go.

The kids loved the aquarium despite getting there 20 min. late and missing the penguin feeding :/ They said their favorite part was the Sea Lion show.

We watched it twice.

 But the best part for me was the touch tank. Unlike the other touch tanks we've been to, we got to touch everything! And not just touch, we were encouraged to pick all the animals up and learned a lot of cool things like how like Star Fish eat. 

Ethan with a Horse Shoe Crab...I think

I snuck back in when all the kids were gone

Around lunch time we all gathered in a community room to eat. We decided before we left that our family would just bring snacks then eat lunch somewhere near the falls. As the kids left me (snacks in hand) to go sit with their friends, I reminded them NOT to beg people for food, and that we would leave soon to get our own lunches. Not 5 minutes later I look over to see them with random cookies, chips, drinks, and rice cakes (Evelyn's score) that they all swore people just gave them. It was pretty embarrassing. I felt like people were thinking I was a bad mother. Maybe it was because I was like the ONLY parent who didn't pack their kids a frickin gourmet lunch! Whatever...

I don't usually like Evelyn to be so far from me that I can't hear the crazy things that are coming out of her mouth.... and then do the needed damage control. But against my better judgment I let her sit on the other side of the room with her friends. So as I was trying to stop Houston from eating the tuna fish sandwich that magically appeared in front of him, I heard a sound from across the room that I knew could only be coming from MY daughter.

It was a SNORT! A very loud SNORT! Followed by many, many more SNORTS! Apparently, Evelyn was showing her friends how she can make sounds just like a pig. Red faced, I quickly walked over to quiet her down but by this time most of the room was watching and laughing. Before I made it to the table I noticed something... Evelyn wasn't just sitting with her friends, but was also sitting right across the table from one of our pastors!! 

Only Evelyn would be sitting at a lunch table full of church friends and A PASTOR, and literally be snorting like a dang pig!

It's no surprise that soon after I did some Evie damage control, we left the aquarium and made our way over to the falls. *And yes I did feed my poor children there*

I took this awesome picture!

No really! They were having fun!

We really did have a good time that day! Besides Evelyn's pig impressions *and maybe when she was sticking her tongue out at a little elderly couple* the kids were really well behaved. And for taking my kids to an aquarium and Niagara Falls by myself, without a stroller? I pretty much rocked the house too!

We all felt like this at the end of our trip.

Evelyn lost her first tooth!

Evelyn lost her first tooth! Or should I say it was forcibly removed! Really, the girl probably would have let her brother punch it out, she wanted it out so bad ;)

She has had 2 wiggly teeth on the bottom for a couple of weeks now and tonight she was laying in bed crying that her "loose tooth hurt". Half joking I asked her if she just wanted me to pull it out and immediately she said "YES!" After a couple of wiggles, I didn't think it was ready so I chickened out and asked her if she wanted try it herself. Luckily we got the whole exciting thing on video!...I had to make her go put some clothes on first though *sigh*

I don't know if you can tell from the video, but she was doing this crazy laughing/crying thing when it came out! Later she said "I was feeling like boo-hoo,then Ha! Ha! at the same time!"....Welcome to being a woman Evie.

Poor Logan still hasn't lost any teeth yet and is really bummed about the whole thing. I just hope he doesn't try the letting Ethan punch him in the face idea!

Now I have to figure out what I'm the tooth fairy is going to put under the little night owl's pillow. She has been saying all along that she really wants a lolly pop from the tooth fairy, but unfortunately someone forgot to buy them ahead of time. I'm thinking $5 will ease the pain ;)

Are you in good hands?

I saw this commercial while I was at the gym last night. I couldn't help but think about my kids. Replace the word "mayhem" with any of their names *cough* Evelyn *cough* and it goes from a commercial about insurance, to the story of my life.

"There's Mayhem Evelyn's in the world, but with an Allstate Agent, you don't have to live through it alone. Are you in Good Hands?"

Going to the chapel of love...

Recently my kids were involved in a family heritage night put on by our church home school group. I had a lot of fun going through old family pictures and heirlooms. My mom has kept a bunch of cool things throughout the years in a trunk she keeps in her bedroom. I remember even as a little girl her letting me look though all her little treasures. Including the shirt my dad wore on their first date, our baby teeth (kind of gross), and other neat things. My favorite thing is my mother's wedding dress which she let the kids take to display.

My parents were married in November of 1976, in Las Vegas. At Circus Circus Casino.

They have been through Hell together, and are STILL TOGETHER. I am so thankful for the example they have set for us.

So the other night I spontaneously had the idea to surprise my parents and take some pictures of Evelyn wearing my mother's wedding dress (that we still hadn't returned). The dress still has a stain down the front where my mom spilled champagne.... I wonder if it had anything to do with the BELLY DANCER that was at their reception?!?  

They loved the pics and Evie had so much fun posing for them! I kind of wish I had taken the time to really fix her hair and stuff... But it is what it is. Simply beautiful :)

Maybe she's on to something!

I was all set to write a blog about how my daughter is turning into one of those kids that I swore I'd never have. About how she's been embarrassing us with some of the things that she's been saying in public, but I can't. The more I wrote, the more I had to laugh. Which is what I tend to do when she says the things she says :/  Evelyn is only five and we are at the point where we really need to start working on teaching her NOT to say everything that comes to her mind. A lesson that I myself am still learning.

I remember when Logan went through this stage. The worst was when I was talking to one of his Sunday school teachers at church, and he randomly walked up and said "You're fat." I was mortified. It was true though. And he wasn't trying to hurt her feelings. He was just stating a fact. The lady was heavy. But teaching a child to filter their words takes time. While I'm patiently waiting for Evie to get a hold of this concept, I can't help but get a kick out of some of the things she says. And If I'm not laughing I'd probably be crying.

Like last night when we had a family from church over for dinner. We're just starting to get to know them and this was the first time (maybe last) we've gotten together. After being in the house for less then ten minuets Evelyn asked if anyone would like to play "midget tag." When I asked her how to play, while in my head I prayed it wouldn't be what I feared it would, she explained that you had to get on your knees and catch the midgets. *sigh* Thankfully our guests were not offended. I can't say the same for the poor lady at the gym. Evelyn asked recently if she was a boy or a girl! I felt so bad for the lady that I just walked away like I didn't hear the question. But the worst was when she junk punched a man Jonathan was talking to at church the other night. God help her! I wont even go into when she was using the Lord's name in vain!

She really is a sweet girl. Beautiful, smart ,funny. But a work in progress and I'm enjoying every minute of it! I really am.

But there is a fine line between being honest and rude. And sometimes as adults don't we wish it could be socially acceptable to drop our filters for just ONE day? Isn't there someone in your life you wish you could just punch and walk away laughing? Maybe Evie is smarter then we think. Maybe he deserved it...