How Can I be This Old

I can't believe I'm the mother of a teenager!! How can my little boy be this old!? How can I be this old!?

When we first started throwing around ideas of how we should celebrate Ethan's 13th, we thought about having a huge party and inviting everyone we know. Then as the day started getting closer and I started thinking about all the work and $$ that would actually go into it, I had a great idea! I told him we could still have the big party OR we could just have a small family party and I'd give him $100. Maybe I should feel a little bad about bribing my kid with money but I think we both won in the end. I was saved from a ton of party planning and money and he is a lot closer to buying that xbox he's been wanting :)

Actually, he ended up with over $300 dollars!!!! What is a 13 year old going do do with all that money!? I told him he should give some of it to me for giving birth to him. For some reason he doesn't like that idea.


In the days weeks leading up to his birthday I was feeling a little sad thinking about how fast time has gone by and that my first baby was going to be a teen. Then yesterday morning I had just woken up and was laying in my bed when Ethan came in to cuddle with me for a minute. After I wished him a happy birthday he said that so far I was the second one to say it. He told me that before he got up he was laying in bed reading his Bible and got a text from his nanna.

My son spent the first few waking minutes of his 13th birthday reading the Bible...

At that moment all sadness was gone. I did cry a couple of times that day but they were tears of thankfulness. I take no credit for any of the good in my life. God has taken my feeble attempt at being a good mother and is turning it into something beautiful!

So we officially have a teen living in the house. And I think it's going to be amazing :)

Not A Resolution

Staying at home in your pajamas all day sounds like a great idea until the Governor declares a state of emergency and you're forced to stay at home in your pajamas all day. As soon as I heard the news I came up with a list of things that I had to go out to do tonight. Like get bananas. We're all out and I can't have breakfast tomorrow without them! And what about the books we have on hold at the library? What if they get tired of waiting for us and put them back on the shelf and someone else gets them? But instead of going out and doing these important things I'm stuck in the house with nothing to do but...do nothing. I like surprise lazy days. Like when my husband comes home from work and in that moment I realize that I still haven't gotten the kids (or myself) dressed and I haven't gotten off the couch for more then a bag of chips all day :) Those days are awesome! This being snowed in business is more like being grounded in your room which is less than awesome.

That's Jonathan's car under all that snow!

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I've decided not to make any New Year's resolutions this year. I don't usually make a big deal out of it anyway but the few times I have, I've had a hard time following through and then feel depressed about it all. But lately I have felt motivated to shore up an area that I know I'm lacking in. I want to be a giver.

It hit me a few weeks ago on my birthday. The kids always have a sort of a contest every birthday and try to be the first one to wish the birthday girl or boy a Happy Birthday! So around 3AM the morning of my birthday, Logan came into my room and woke me up to wish me a Happy Birthday and ask if he could cuddle me. After awhile I sent him back to his bed and fell back to sleep but was woken up a few hours later by all 4 kids singing to me and serving me breakfast in bed.

Yogurt, granola, banana, and a candle.

For the whole day I could hardly stand up without one of them telling me to sit down so they could get whatever I needed. They treated me like a queen. They gave me their time and attention.

Then Christmas came. Logan made a bracelet of twine with bells for the girl he has a crush on at church. He colored it red and green with markers and added a card with a candy cane. He knows that she doesn't like him back but he just wanted to give her something special for Christmas.

One night I came home after the kids had gone to bed and spotted a Target bag under the tree. My husband had taken the kids shopping, and two of the boys put their money together ($4) and used it to buy gifts -a candle and M&Ms - for me and Jonathan. I knew they had been saving this money for a few weeks and was so touched that they spent it on us instead of themselves.

The gifts didn't end there. On Christmas morning, there were all sorts of homemade gifts to open! The kids spent days working in secret, running up and down the stairs collecting things like tape and scissors because they wanted to make sure we were happy on Christmas too. I opened a shoe box that contained 3 homemade maracas and Jonathan and I both received some toys and trinkets that looked very familiar :)

I'm always consumed by guilt during this season for not being able to buy more gifts and feel greedy for getting more things for myself. My kids helped remind me that it's the love behind the gift that counts. And sometimes most of the time gifts aren't even things that can be opened. Gifts of time and sacrifice mean so much more than gifts you can buy from a store. And the joy they bring grow and last a lifetime!

I'll never forget the time we were a a big conference for our church. The service had just started and we had only sung one song when a man started dancing around the aisles in worship. In my mind I was thinking that it seemed a bit inappropriate. We had maybe been there for 10 minutes! Did he really think this was the right moment for that sort of thing? But after the song ended the preacher stood up and told the man's story and I was quickly put in my place. God had saved him from horrible things that I could never have imagine dealing with. He was giving thanks to God and didn't care if it wasn't a convenient time for the rest of us.

"For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required"

So my, "Not A New Year's Resolution" is that I want to be a giver. I want to give more of myself and my time to the people I love. I want to put more thought into ways to make them feel special and loved. I have been blessed with so much. I want to be a blessing.