Home Alone

Right now I'm sitting on my couch and I'm all alone.

No husband.

No kids.

I can't remember the last time I was completely alone unless it was while I was driving somewhere. Ever since I had  Ethan 11 years ago, moments like this are rare. I spend all day with my gang and when my husband gets home from work we either all stay home or we all go out. I'm not complaining it's just nice to be alone with your own thoughts sometimes.

When they were all on their way out the door tonight I told my husband that I didn't even know what I should do! Part of me feels like I should go do something productive but the other part says don't get off the couch unless it's to put on pajamas. Some other ideas that come to mind are:

Go use the bathroom. Without the chance of a child knocking on the door. Because when I'm in the bathroom it seems to be the perfect time for one of them to tell me how someone is bothering them, ask for a snack, or, my favorite...ask if I'm IN the bathroom.

Eat something. It could be anything. But I could eat it slow and without the chance of being asked to share.

Ethan caught me hiding in the kitchen eating ice cream a couple of days ago and he said, "Mom. Not again."

Clean.  Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and cross that off my list right now. But! If I were to clean something it could probably stay clean for a good hour.

Watch a movie. And not have to pause it 15 times

Read a book. I may be able to finish an entire chapter.

Lay down on the couch. And not have to share it with 4 other people trying to be as close to me as they possibly can.

There are so many possibilities. I think I'll go take a bath and see if I can hear that ringing in my ears that only happens when everything is totally silent. That's different from the ringing after someone has knocked on the bathroom door for the 5th time to tell me that they need a drink.

*I wrote this a week or so ago. As I was enjoying my bath everyone came home and in minuets I had kids AND husband knocking at the door :)

Sometimes I daydream about getting a hotel room just for me. I would order room service, watch a movie, and sleep until I can't sleep any more. Does that make me a bad mom?